By Vivian Bricker, Crosswalk.com
Single moms are often overlooked and stereotyped in the modern day. As Christians, it is important that we understand single moms and their importance in the lives of their children. God established the family unit to be both a mom and a dad, but this isn't always the case for every family. Rather than condemning single moms, we need to treat them as Jesus does.
The very first single mom in the Bible was Hagar. Hagar was the maidservant of Sarah. Sarah wasn't able to have children; therefore, she asked Hagar to bear children for her with Abraham. After Hagar had done what Sarah wanted, Sarah was upset with her and ran her off. While Hagar did return after God's instructions, she was hurt by Sarah.
Hagar's child she had with Abraham was named Ishmael. Even though Sarah didn't see this as being the official line of the future generations, God still loved Hagar and Ishmael. In fact, it was God who strengthened and encouraged Hagar when she had run away. This can show us how much God loves single moms.
It is easy to draw separating lines between single moms and moms who co-parent with their husbands, but we have to know this isn't true for all people. There are divorces, there are issues, and there are deaths, which can all cause a person to become a single mom.
If you are a single mom, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Being a single mom doesn't mean anyone is less of a person, nor does it mean the person isn't a good parent. Even though God designed the parental system to be a father and a mother, this doesn't happen for everyone in the present day.
We have to look at the reasoning behind why someone would be a single mother. In school growing up, my best friend was raised by her single mom. My friend's mom had gotten a divorce and raised her daughter on her own.
In the same way, a neighbor of mine had to raise his three daughters because his wife died shortly after the youngest was born. There are many reasons why a person might be a single mom or a single dad, and we have to know that it is not a "sin" for a person to be a single parent.
Moreover, women might become single moms because their husbands were abusive, and they have to leave their husbands, thus raising the child alone. Maybe the woman is a single mom because her husband was a drug addict or an alcoholic, and he couldn't help raise the child.
In all these things, we need to be aware that we don't need to be judgmental towards single moms or single dads. Unless we know the root cause of why they are a single parent, there is no way to truly know why or how they became a single parent.
Can I Be a Good Single Mom?
Even if you are a single mom, know that you can still raise your kid and teach them the truths of the Bible. There will be more challenges since you are raising the child alone; however, God can strengthen you and He will encourage you.
There might be times when you are overworked, tired, and drained, yet during these times is when you will see God most at work. Even though you are a single mom doesn't mean that your child will grow up with problems or attachment issues.
Going back to my best friend in elementary school, she has since grown up, become an adult, and has a successful career. As far as I know, she has not had any problems from being raised by a single mom.
In fact, she seems to be more independent and more dedicated to doing what she sets her mind to. All things in life come with challenges, yet God is always there with you.
As you are raising your kid, consult him, go to Him in prayer, and be active in your Bible reading in order to hear back from God.
Similar to any single parent, you are going to have to be aware of burnout and recognize your own boundaries. Since God created both the mother and father to raise the child, you will be doing double the work, not to mention supporting yourself and the child.
In a way, my mom worked as a single mom since my dad was absent in many ways while my sisters and I were growing up. My mom was the sole provider, worked multiple jobs, and yet still had time to raise us.
My mom did a great job with everything she had to do every day; however, I could tell she would often get burned out. It is important that, as a single mom, you take time to relax, refresh, and recharge.
It is also important to remember that nobody is perfect. Only God is perfect. Human beings are polluted with sin, and we are always making mistakes. Since there are no perfect people, there are no perfect moms or perfect dads. Don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake.
Everyone makes mistakes, and we all fall short of God's glory (Romans 3:23). I used to think as a child that my mom was perfect and that she would have the answer to everything.
It was only now, in the aftermath, that I found out she wasn't perfect and she didn't have the answer to everything.
Was it because she was a bad mom? Of course not. It just meant my mom was a human being, just like you and me. We all make mistakes, even our parents or our single parent.
There will be many individuals who will try to be judgmental or hurtful because you are a single mom, but don't take it personally. The problem is not you; the problem is them. All parents, whether single or together, need to be treated with respect and kindness.
You are more than capable with God's help to raise your child even if you might be scared or afraid right now. Raising a child on your own can be an extremely daunting task and one that should not be overlooked. Turn to God and ask Him for His help.
Whether you have been a single mom for a long time, recently had your baby, or are expecting, know that God deeply loves you, and He loves your baby. You and your baby are made in His image (Genesis 1:27).
Never doubt your worth, and never let the hateful words of others get you down. To be a single mom is no easy task, and you're bound to have restless nights, anxiety, and the constant thought of whether you're good enough or not.
Through all of these things, turn to God and rest in His peace. He says you are wonderful and loved beyond comprehension.
Why Does This Matter?
Thus, single moms need to be respected and appreciated for all that they do. Being a single mom is a difficult task, which many overlook. If you are the child of a single mom, tell her how much you are thankful for her.
Through the difficult times and the good times, your mom stayed with you. Maybe she was a teen when she had you, or maybe she was in her early twenties. Either way, it can be very scary for a woman to be a single mom, and your mom did it.
Your mom saw all the scary and all the frightening changes, yet she loved you so much and raised you, cared for you, and loved you. Single moms are amazing, and we need to be thankful for all that they do.
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Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master's degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.
The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.
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