Why is My Husband Sensitive About How Much Money I Make? - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - July 10

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Why is My Husband Sensitive About How Much Money I Make?
By Vivian Bricker

“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Many husbands and wives are both in the workforce. They both have jobs they enjoy and take pride in their work. When both the husband and the wife work, there can sometimes be sensitivity. Normally, the husband feels this sensitivity because most men feel it is their responsibility to work and provide for their families. While they appreciate their wives' financial support, they can sometimes feel insecure when their wives earn more than they do.

This is a common problem that can be hard to work through. If you have noticed that your husband has been sensitive or insecure about how much money you are making, know that you are not alone. Many wives make more money than their husbands. While this should be a neutral situation, many husbands feel like they are not doing enough if they are not making as much money as their wives.

If you have noticed your husband is feeling insecure about his income compared to your own, talk about it. It can be difficult for men to be open with their emotions, but it is important to help your husband articulate these feelings. If they are upset, they need to be able to work through matters in a healthy way. Sadly, many people can resort to anger, and this is much more common in men.

Due to toxic masculinity, many men think showing emotions is a weakness. The only emotion that is seen as “manly” is anger. Since anger is the only “acceptable” emotion for men, many men only express anger when they could be feeling sad, misunderstood, or hurt. This is why it is important to talk matters over with your husband and help him to express his real emotions rather than covering them up with anger. This will help for the present situation as well as in future situations.

Once you have helped your husband better understand and articulate his emotions, you can discuss the pressing subject. Your husband might say he feels inferior or not good enough because he makes less money than you. This is when you need to tell him that his worth is not found in how much money he makes. His worth is found in Jesus. Help him to remember this truth. Remind him how much you love him.

It can also be beneficial to tell your husband how proud you are of him. Don’t just say it once. Instead, make it a priority to show him how proud you are of him each day. This can help your husband feel more confident and secure in himself. While it might be hard for your spouse to be honest about his feelings that his identity is shrinking away in this financial matter, it is important to help him know that his job isn’t his entire world.

Instead, God and your family are his world. This can help realign his focus. However, it might take your husband some time to get to this point. Until this time, continue to be supportive and encouraging. Help your husband to know that you are proud and appreciative of everything he does at home and at work.

The Apostle Paul tells us, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Within our discussion today, many emotions can come into being. Anger, frustration, and sadness can all take effect after talking about this issue. However, we must remember what Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:13. Three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest is love.

The love you have for your spouse is greater than any emotion you or your spouse may be experiencing. This love will help you weather any storm. Your spouse might feel slighted or hurt, but when you extend love, it will help him not think as much about your different pay grades. At the end of the day, money doesn’t matter. Only love does.

“Dear Jesus, my husband has been feeling sensitive and insecure about how much money I make. Since I make more money than he does, it makes him feel inferior as a man. Please help him to know his worth is in You and that I love him regardless of his paycheck. Give him comfort and solace in this matter as only You can. Thank You, Lord. Amen.”

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Ridofranz

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.

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